Ok, Clever Tribe- this is how this went down. I was having breakfast with four guys- three out of four were friends. The other I had never met. We will call him “Mike” and I was warned well in advance he’d totally dismiss me. Knowing his name ahead of time, I looked him up on Facebook, got his birth date and then arrived early to read alllll about the Gemini male in Sextrology– the fantastic and epic tome written by Stella Starsky and Quinn Cox
My friends told me he was a northerner and most people found him a little abrasive.Humph! I was a northerner and not easily intimidated. The gauntlet had been thrown and my goal was to enjoy my breakfast AND prove up the Clever concept to myself once again
If you recall, being So Very Clever is about being intentional- approaching situations with as much knowledge as possible so you can converse intelligently with others- male or female
Initially, the concept was to help give women enough information about the male realm that they might a) not feel intimidated to try something new b) find they enjoy something new c) have something to talk about with a man when the subject comes up whether they enjoyed it or not.
Clever has evolved a bit to encourage EVERYONE to be intentional- THINK- DO- ACT- SPEAK (omgosh, I just wrote SPANK- good thing I caught that)
As predicted, “Mike” would not engage with me. I was annoyed- because I KNEW what he was thinking. I was some vacuous airhead who was nothing more than 100-year-old arm candy for some poor bastard not in attendance.
The book told me this guy “is notoriously clever, able to anticipate people’s needs and moves, smoothly steering situations to his best advantage.” It was going to be a shootout. I wanted his acknowledgment as a Guy’s Girl and he wanted me NOT to be the center of attention at breakfast. If I could not get his attention- I might quite being Clever. The angle here was to make him the center of attention WHILE he was validating me
“So, you’re a Wolverine.” Very Clever- lead with sports. A boon because Michigan football is a deep pool of knowledge for me
“You went to State. We are natural enemies.” Combative. He didn’t even look me in the eye. Didn’t he know it was unwise to provoke a CLEVER Girl? This was going to make the victory so much sweeter. I began to mentally limber up for my Victory dance (nothing from you, Geoff)
“I was supposed to go to UM. Game time decision.”
“You made a bad one.”
“Not as far as I know- but I’m still a big fan of University of Michigan football.”
“Let me guess, Tom Brady makes you swoon.” I’m pretty sure I saw an eye roll
Well … in the defense of all women- I know a few dudes (presumably straight) who swoon over Tom Brady
“No, just a fan of the program- miss the hell out of Bo and Gary Moeller- not grounds for firing if you ask me. Not in today’s corrupt sporting climate.”
Seriously? Gary Moeller? Nothing? I didn’t want to pull the Jim Harbaugh card. Wildly unpredictable.
It was time for an end around. I’d had it and it had only been five minutes. I could tell flattery would fall flat, ignoring him would only fuel him- proving to him I needed to be the center of attention … I had to go directly to the book
“I’m not surprised the guys put you in charge of multimedia.”
A tentative look. I knew he was high up, but the book told me he relies on a male pecking order and NEEDS to be the top dog
“Why? Aren’t you surprised?”
“What are you? Aries or Gemini?” His eyes narrowed at me- he looked at the guys who then looked at me
“You tell me.”
“You like to be in charge in the bedroom too?”
“WHAT?” Choking on coffee- I’m pretty sure I saw some dribble out of his nose.
“You asked me to tell you. I need more information.”
“Maybe you should read my palm,” he jabbed. Like poking a coiled rattlesnake at this point
“Ah, definitely Gemini.” I settled back and let my assertion settle on him. He squared his shoulders at me (Gemini). To be honest, Aries and Gemini both like to be in charge in the bed, but I didn’t want him to think I was the hothouse flower he was capable of conquering
“How’d you know?”
“Obvious. Could tell by your build. Purposeful movements- lithe, athletic body. Swimmer or boxer?” He wasn’t that lean, but I had his attention. A soupcon of flattery was not going to call me out a liar
“Swimmer.” Long pause. Was I worth conversing with? Pause. I used this time to chew. Breakfast was, indeed, yummy. “Dave said you’re a writer. What do you write?”
“Serial killers?” My friend Dave assumed
“Nah, not right now.”
“Love, love serial killers. Do you guys watch ‘Dexter’?”
One thing led to another. Let’s just say- he reads Clever every day and even gives me ideas for posts. He’s really quite Clever- as “Sextrology” mentioned. I owe this reader and his validation to the coolest non-fiction book I’ve read in a decade. Honestly, it offers more information for conversation, elucidation, validation and communication than any widely recognized “relationship” book I’ve ever read.
I never revealed I looked up his birthday on Facebook (which he now knows upon reading this post), but I did tell him about “Sextrology,” which he said worked some of the kinks out of his sex life with his wife. Her kinks not his, of course- and that’s kinks- not kinky. He had no idea she wanted to, uh, drive occasionally (ah, the Scorpio woman)- and he had no idea he could enjoy it
Check out Stella Starsky and Quinn Cox at their website or on Facebook.
While I have made clear the information on Clever is not to be memorized, I think creating an astrological cheat sheet to keep in your iPhone is a great idea. You never know when you will need an edge in an interview, a business dinner, on a date, in a social situation when you are fighting for time with the almost supermodel with the Grand Canyon of Cleavage showing.
Clever is about being intentional. Be intentional TODAY. Snag the spotlight with your brilliant mind and cunning linguistic skills.
OK, we are going to have to get back to wedding planning. Clever Guys- I promise always to give you helpful hints so you won’t be tempted to fake your death or go into the Witness Protection Program during the planning of this wingding. Therefore, do not cop out when you see the word WEDDING.
If you need local resources for DFW right now- check out these articles. Or, if you want to cut to the chase- e-mail me directly and I will get you started. Free of charge you can ask me anything wedding-related and I will point you in the direction of the best most reputable and professional vendors in Dallas, Los Angeles, New York, Orlando, Tampa, Louisiana and Detroit. Just call me your wedding agent.