In any social situation, look for an opportunity to speak to someone in whom you are interested. Let your opening line be innocuous and interesting, such as, “Wow, I didn’t realize I needed to pack heat to get here.” This could lead to a discussion about guns. “Is that single malt? I didn’t realize they were serving it.” This could lead to a conversation about scotch, which could lead anywhere. “Is that an iPhone? How do you like it?”
At parties, avoid the throngs of women talking about each other, clothing and ex-boyfriends.These women are the trans fats of the social situation: over saturated with self-importance, at least partially synthetic and are found EVERYWHERE. Instead, linger, if you can, near the men. Listen for the opportunity to be included in the conversation. Or, if you’re bold and feeling quite confident, approach a couple of guys and say something like, “You guys aren’t talking about carpooling or how much you hate your ex-husbands are you?” After they quit laughing, apologize for interrupting, and relay to them how desperate you were to escape the banality of the self absorbed.
The only time messing around on your cell phone is a good idea is when you don’t have the nerve to butt into a conversation. Someone will most likely ask you what you are doing or initiate conversation. Evaluate him immediately – sports fan, outdoorsman, professional or someone you want away from desperately? Try one of these lines. “I was just looking for the score of the Red Wings game.” “I was trying to cancel my shooting lesson for tomorrow.” “I’m trying to schedule the delivery of my new grill.” “I’m planning on attending a single malt scotch tasting and have forgotten where it is.” “I thought I saw a steakhouse around here once and was trying to figure out which one it was.” All of these statements offer insight into your interests and a great way to build a conversation.
Oh yeah, in the case of the guy you might want desperately to get away from try something like this. “I’m trying to disable the homing device my boyfriend has on this phone.” “My husband just text wondering why I left my ring at home.”
Once a conversation is in full bloom, his friends will trickle over to see what is going on.They too will be impressed with your wide array of interests and, finally, you will find yourself the center of attention while the bitchy looking almost supermodels fume.
Now is the time to put your best personality forward. The greater the audience, the more options you have. Suddenly it isn’t about who finds you worthy of a phone call, but rather, who you deem worthy of giving your number. Hone in on the guy you find most interesting and remember, no matter what the topic, NO ARGUING. A spirited debate is fine, but if you are combative and contentious in a social situation, you can guarantee he is fast forwarding mentally to how you will react to him being late without calling.
No one likes a know-it-all, especially if you are talking about a subject that is traditionally in the male realm. Do not purport yourself an expert on anything, rather an enthusiast who would enjoy taking some pointers or learning more.
Remember, social situations exist absolutely everywhere. Even if you are not interested in a particular man- begin exercising your new skills acquiring a man’s ear. Paying attention, listening and observing are a powerful triumvirate for reaching a man. We will discuss all three later in the week. In the meantime- start talking, missy.